If you've checked out the Ontario Beverage Network map
lately, you'll see 400 breweries are going to call Ontario home. That's a whole lot of beer, and my fridge can't hold them all. If you asked my girlfriend she would say “just because Cool As Cuke has cucumber juice in it, doesn’t mean it belongs in the crisper.”
With so much variety, sometimes my decision to fill the last spot in my 8-pack comes down to a quality beer name. There’s some solid options in Ontario, from classic puns to nostalgic memories. Here’s a list of a few Ontario beer names I’m digging right now.
- Shinnicked Stout – Muskoka Brewery
To feel shinnicked, all you need to do is jump into a lake for a morning dip in early October and immediately regret your decision. Shinnicked is that numbing, gasp-for-breath feeling you get when plunging into a Muskoka lake for a chilly late-night dip. The only cure is this coffee stout and every blanket you can find.
- Over My Dad Bod Pilsner - Great Lakes Brewery
The gang over at Great Lakes Beer enjoy a good pun as much as we do. I remember choking on my pizza laughing when they told us the name. When Great Lakes teased the beer, they said: "get the Bob Seger playlist lined up and shine those crocs."
- Best Case Ontario - Four Winds Brewing
You may have heard the phrase "worst case Ontario", but when Nickel Brook, Great Lakes, Sawdust, and Escarpment labs team up with one of my favourite B.C. breweries, well, that’s a best case scenario.
- Puppers - Stack Brewing
In the noble words of Letterkenny's finest, "figure it out, get this guy a Puppers."
Roberta Blondar - Manantler Brewing
With Canada naming two new astronauts last week, it seems fitting to add this one to the list. As breweries often do, creating a beer name comes down to this equation: Pun + mentioning the beer style = winning beer name.
- Kirby's Kolsch - Muskoka
Little known fact: Kirby's Kolsch was originally a Moonlight Kettle Series called Just Peachy. When we renamed it, we wanted to honour one of our founders, Kirk Evans. Kirk passed away shortly after we opened the Brewery in 1996, and this beer is as easy-going as he was.
- The Blood of Cthulhu - Sawdust City
This is the cleanest name we could pick from our friends down the road. When Sawdust City releases a beer, it usually comes with a parental advisory warning. If you're ever in Muskoka, you should take a long dark voyage to their brewery and find out for yourself.
- Aggressive Jazz Hands - Redline Brewery
Because we've all had a friend who says they can dance when they've got a few IPAs in them.
- Proud as Funk! - Nickel Brook
This beer was brewed for Pride month in Toronto. We're proud that Nickel Brook created such an outstanding beer to support the LGTBQ community, and we’ll raise a glass with them any time.
- 35 & 118 - Boshkung Brewing
Hang a right out of our Brewery and take one of Muskoka's most scenic roads, and you end up at the intersection of Highway 35 and 118 where our friends Boshkung Brewing have set up shop. This highway is famous for moose and deer sightings. I've even had to slow down to help a few stranded canoe trippers find their portage route.
Any beer names you’re digging lately? Send us a tweet to @MuskokaBrewery
and let us know your favourites, and any suggestions you’ve got for new beer names. You never know what you may receive if we really like it…